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Mouth of the South on People’s Court

Unemployment Check: Jimmy Hart on People’s Court

Posted Sep 13, 2007

Judge Marilyn Milian welcomes wrestling legend and “Mouth of the South” Jimmy Hart to the witness podium.

2007 09 17

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Wrestlemania Picks Commentary

2007 04 05

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Wrestlemania Picks

Alright, my Wrestlemania picks are:

World Heavyweight Champion Batista vs. Undertaker
Winner: Undertaker

WWE Champion John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels
Winner: John Cena

Battle of the Billionaires
Winner: Donald Trump

Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Winner: Mr. Kennedy

ECW Originals vs. New Breed
Winner: ECW Originals

Women’s Champion Melina vs. Ashley
Winner: Melina

Kane vs. The Great Khali
Winner: Kane

United States Champion Chris Benoit vs. MVP
Winner: Chris Benoit

2007 04 01

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Umaga’s opponent

Donald Trump’s representative in his hair v. hair match with Vince McMahon is none other than Bobby Lashley. Lashley is a relatively new wrestler, but he’s received a huge push since he’s debuted.

Last Raw, it was revealed that Stone Cold Steve Austin will be the “special guest referee” for the match. Now there is no question that McMahon will lose. McMahon and Stone Cold feuded for the majority of the 90’s and I can see Stone Cold shaving McMahon’s head as one of those “Wrestlemainia Momments” that will feature heavily in future Wrestlemania ad campaigns.

Personally, I don’t care much about the match. Umaga never speaks on the mic. Lashley has horrible mic skills — he’s known as the soft spoken wrestler. How weak is that? So basically, both wrestlers have zero charisma. Plus, they aren’t that great in the ring.

Unless something else happens to shake things up, this match could go down as the worst in Wrestlemania history.

2007 03 08

Some thoughts on wrestling…

RBX asked alot of good questions in my last blog entry and I think the response deserves its own blog post.

McMahon probably won’t wrestle any more matches. He injured himself in his last bout and his doctors have advised him never to wrestle ever again. And at age 61, that’s probably for the best.

Last Raw, it was revealed that Umaga will represent McMahon at Wrestlemania. He’s billed as the “Samoan Bulldozing Machine”. He holds the intercontnental championship, so he’ll probably wrestle a similar caliber wrestler.

It’s hard to give a good estimate as to when professional wrestlers retire. Many of them wrestle in the independent circuit long after they’re released from WWE. It largely depends on the shape of the wrestlers and how many injuries they’ve sustained over their career. Ric Flair is still wrestling every week on WWE — he turns 58 on Feb. 28th!

As for the nature of professional wrestling. I always say that it’s a real performance. Winners are predetermined and conflicts are created from the minds of writers, but the matches themselves are largely improved. Wrestlers abuse their bodies in the ring and generally have to survive on pain pills. When wrestlers bleed, that’s usually real blood. They hide razor blades in their wristbands and cut their foreheads to produce the blood. Cutting their foreheads in this fashion is called “blading” and when they bleed it’s called “juicing”. Other than that, every professional wrestler has a long list of accidental injuries sustained over thier career, so when you see a wrestler grimmacing in pain — that may not be an act at all!

2007 03 08

The battle of the billionaires

The Donald himself appeared on Raw this week. He challenged WWE chairman Vince McMahon to a hair vs. hair match at Wrestlemainia 23. The victor will shave the loser’s head. Undoubtedly, McMahon will lose — there’s no way Trump would shave his rat’s nest of a hairdo for a WWE pay per view. Bald would be a better look for him though. C’mon, I know his hair is one of his trademarks, but who wants their trademark to be bad hair? Other than me of course.

The match, coined as the battle of the billionaires, won’t see the two do any actual wrestling. And that’s a good thing. Trump may be good at making money, but I doubt those skills translate well into a wrestling ring. McMahon, on the other hand, has a long list of matches to his credit. Instead, they will appoint representatives to wrestle for them.

Here’s a nice little video of what we have in store for ‘Mania:

2007 03 08

WWE’s wellness program

There’s a report that Test was recently pulled from the house show schedule due to a violation in WWE’s Wellness Program. WWE hasn’t released any specifics on the violation, but I’m assuming it’s for steroid abuse. Test has bulked up significantly since his return to WWE, so the news doesn’t come as much of a surprise. It is a shame for Test though, he was getting a legitimate championshp push in ECW.

I don’t get the Wellness Program. What’s wrong with wrestlers using steroids? Sure, it may harm a wrestler’s body, but that’s the nature of professional wrestling. Professional wrestling takes a huge toll on the body. It seems like a double standard to be okay with wrestlers executing dangerous moves that often result in injuries, but it is not okay that a wrestler risks harm through drugs.

Test thought he needed to bulk up to appeal to the fans. Sabu thinks he needs to jump off the top ropes on to chairs, tables, and what not to appeal to fans. Why let Sabu risk his body and not Test? These are grown men, they should make their own decisions.

Now where’s my injection?

2007 03 08